love – ~She speaks; She writes ~

“Love is to “reveal the beauty of another person to themselves,” wrote Jean Vanier. Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

This quote of a quote is very telling when it comes to the depth of love that should be revealed in our relationships. It expresses the value we place upon those we love when we are truly wanting them to see the best in themselves. This perspective is indeed a selfless attitude and stance which comes from an emotionally mature person. Once we get here, I can imagine how freeing and fulfilling this stance would be spiritually as well.

This kind of love, however, is increasingly rare in a culture that prioritizes self-love above all else. There is nothing wrong with having the drive to be sure we are certainly loving ourselves through the lens of God. That is truly the win. The problem comes in when we are striving to love ourselves outside the realm of Agape. When that becomes the ultimate goal, we set ourselves up to possibly fall into an ego driven personality.

Healthy relationships are built on a continuous yet delicate balance of demonstrating self-love while practicing the ability to intimately “see” others. This selfless vision becomes especially important when a loved one is struggling with behaviors that challenge our emotional memory. These moments often trigger past wounds, making it harder to respond with grace. Once again, this balance can only be achieved by emotionally healthy individuals. So, when we find ourselves in this potential battle, we must take the courage and be accountable for our lack of development in this area. It does not diminish our love for the other person but it speaks to the need to say “There is still a sore spot that needs attention in my heart. Let me take some time to do some heart work so we each benefit from this relationship.”

Just imagine how many relationships could be salvaged/saved if we understood that we are all a continuous work in progress. When we fully take accountability for our own healing, we position ourselves to show up in community ready to genuinely love others. The goal especially as believers should be, as Jesus expressed, to walk with the heart to be sure when everyone leaves our presence, they felt better about themselves. We should leave a deposit confirming their uniqueness is worth celebrating not shying away from.

My new added prayer is that as we each continue the temporary journey on earth, striving to be our best self, we show up having done the emotional and mental self-work. This inner work will cause us to walk into rooms ready to hit the “go” button on revealing to others their rich, God-given gifts and talents. As a result, they will walk confidently and boldly in life, loving what God sees in them and creating a domino effect of loving others into their destined place.

What if we all committed to this kind of inner work? How many lives could be transformed simply by showing up whole, ready to affirm the beauty in others?

Mz. Liz

Vanier, J. (2001). Seeing beyond depression. Paulist Press.

Scazzero, P. (2006). Emotionally healthy spirituality: Unleash a revolution in your life in Christ. Thomas Nelson.
(Referenced Vanier’s concept of love as revealing the beauty of another person to themselves.)

“Love is to reveal the beauty of another person to themselves,” wrote Jean Vanier—a sentiment echoed by Peter Scazzero in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.

In the tapestry of Gina’s life, woven with threads of pain, rejection, fear, shame, disappointment, and guilt, a moment of awakening was dawning. The anesthesia of sexual intimacy that dulled her senses to these emotions was slowly wearing off, like the haze lifting after a long night’s storm. She began to discern a voice, a presence, beckoning her from the shadows of her soul. It was the Father’s voice, resonating with the eternal cadence of love, and the Holy Spirit’s call to return to His arms, echoing louder than ever before.

Gina could no longer deny the need to cease her endless flight from Him. The time had come to halt her desperate attempts to outrun her own humanity and to shed the armor of ‘church girl’ acts, beneath which she had concealed her vulnerability. For too long, she had elevated her fleeting feelings above her profound connection with the Father, embarking on a fruitless quest to validate her righteousness. Yet, when she refused the gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit, her emotions spiraled into a relentless cycle that tormented her year after year.

Yet, a whisper of grace resonated in her heart, reminding her of John 6:37: “However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.” Before her very existence, she had been consecrated to Jesus. This revelation, powerful and undeniable, compelled her to accept the Father’s beckoning embrace.

Gina understood that for her and Travis to forge a future together, they must cease medicating their wounds with the temporary comfort of physical intimacy. The time had come for both to embark on a journey of healing, moving forward into the next chapter of their lives. Sin had no place in their love, as the Bible had made unequivocally clear: “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). By saying “no” to this temptation, Gina had stirred something dormant within Travis, something essential for his very existence and calling. He was also now ready to unshackle the chains of fear and embrace the call of The Father.

Could Gina, like the prodigal daughter, piece together the fragmented remnants of her faith and return to the sacred inner sanctuary? Two long years had elapsed since she had strayed from the sanctuary’s comforting embrace, and she had never truly found solace outside its hallowed walls. The question loomed: was she ready to embark on the arduous journey back into the loving arms of her Heavenly Father?

The love Travis had shown her during their time in “The Wild” had turned her world upside down. It was a love so profound and genuine that it defied Gina’s expectations. Now, a moment of decision was upon her. Gina turned to Travis, her eyes filled with resolve and a vulnerability she had long concealed.

“The time has come for me to return to God,” she confessed. “When you first met me, I carried a reservoir of resentment toward God and the men in my life. But now, you will witness the Gina who loves God with a burning passion. I’m uncertain if you’re prepared for this transformation, but it’s a journey I must undertake to fulfill God’s divine purpose in my life. This path will take a sharp turn, and you once told me you weren’t going anywhere. I hope you meant it.”

Travis made a resolute leap onto the path of destiny alongside Gina. His conviction ran deep, for the revolutionary ardor ignited the very moment his eyes first beheld Gina, years past, continued to engulf his heart.

“Gina,” he declared, tears pooling in his eyes, “let’s unite in matrimony. I cannot fathom the risk of losing you should we part ways.”

As Travis’ earnest proposal flowed from his lips, Gina’s heart threatened to break free from its confines, pounding with a fervor only love could arouse. Her thoughts snapped to attention, as if some unyielding doctrine had inscribed itself upon her soul: “It is wiser to wed than to yield to the flames of desire.”

With this newfound clarity, their dilemma vanished. They could now wander hand in hand into the twilight, casting aside their tumultuous desires, embracing instead the illusion of wedded bliss.

Tag: love

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