Touched by Your Own Light

“Love is to “reveal the beauty of another person to themselves,” wrote Jean Vanier. Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

This quote of a quote is very telling when it comes to the depth of love that should be revealed in our relationships. It expresses the value we place upon those we love when we are truly wanting them to see the best in themselves. This perspective is indeed a selfless attitude and stance which comes from an emotionally mature person. Once we get here, I can imagine how freeing and fulfilling this stance would be spiritually as well.

This kind of love, however, is increasingly rare in a culture that prioritizes self-love above all else. There is nothing wrong with having the drive to be sure we are certainly loving ourselves through the lens of God. That is truly the win. The problem comes in when we are striving to love ourselves outside the realm of Agape. When that becomes the ultimate goal, we set ourselves up to possibly fall into an ego driven personality. 

Healthy relationships are built on a continuous yet delicate balance of demonstrating self-love while practicing the ability to intimately “see” others. This selfless vision becomes especially important when a loved one is struggling with behaviors that challenge our emotional memory. These moments often trigger past wounds, making it harder to respond with grace. Once again, this balance can only be achieved by emotionally healthy individuals. So, when we find ourselves in this potential battle, we must take the courage and be accountable for our lack of development in this area. It does not diminish our love for the other person but it speaks to the need to say “There is still a sore spot that needs attention in my heart. Let me take some time to do some heart work so we each benefit from this relationship.”

Just imagine how many relationships could be salvaged/saved if we understood that we are all a continuous work in progress. When we fully take accountability for our own healing, we position ourselves to show up in community ready to genuinely love others. The goal especially as believers should be, as Jesus expressed, to walk with the heart to be sure when everyone leaves our presence, they felt better about themselves. We should leave a deposit confirming their uniqueness is worth celebrating not shying away from.

My new added prayer is that as we each continue the temporary journey on earth, striving to be our best self, we show up having done the emotional and mental self-work. This inner work will cause us to walk into rooms ready to hit the “go” button on revealing to others their rich, God-given gifts and talents. As a result, they will walk confidently and boldly in life, loving what God sees in them and creating a domino effect of loving others into their destined place.

What if we all committed to this kind of inner work? How many lives could be transformed simply by showing up whole, ready to affirm the beauty in others?

Mz. Liz

Vanier, J. (2001). Seeing beyond depression. Paulist Press.

Scazzero, P. (2006). Emotionally healthy spirituality: Unleash a revolution in your life in Christ. Thomas Nelson.
(Referenced Vanier’s concept of love as revealing the beauty of another person to themselves.)

“Love is to reveal the beauty of another person to themselves,” wrote Jean Vanier—a sentiment echoed by Peter Scazzero in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.